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Thursday, May 30, 2002 It seems that we're turning our four days in Austin into four days in Austin and three or four days on Padre Island. We're leaving tomorrow night and we'll be back on Sunday, June 9th. Time to dig out my heavy duty sunscreen and bikini. Woo! I haven't written much lately because I've been absorbed by the three Blair Witch games. This is why I never buy video game systems or computer games. It's a completely addictive waste of time. Another waste of time is compiling a list of things I've *never* heard anyone say: 1. "Sometimes I shove pennies up my ass for good luck." 2. "I buy my underwear at Goodwill." 3. "Jude Law is a troll." (click for a pic of Jude Law.) Ok, that's all I can think of right now. Zack is at some hoity-toity function at the Dallas Museum of Art that's being thrown by the non-profit agency he's on the board of. I'm sitting at home eating Planter's Honey Roasted Peanuts, drinking a screwdriver, and playing a damn video game. Score one for us heathens. xo suzie 07:33 PM CST [link] [8 comments] Tuesday, May 28, 2002 Zack made a trip up to Fry's yesterday and bought us a dvd player. Yes, it's our first one. Yes, we were still watching video tapes. I very seldom rush into new technology. It goes back to childhood. Thanks to my parents we didn't end up with a stupid Betamax player. (That's right, I'm old enough to remember when video rental stores were split in half. One side for VHS and one side for Beta. And almost every store had a "back room" that housed all the porno movies.) Thanks to my hesitancy to try something new, I'm not stuck with any laser disks. But since it looks like this whole dvd craze is going to stick around I relented. I've stopped trying to stay on top of the Michael Jackson insanity. I'm just keeping an eye on the old bandwidth. Today I was linked to Cruel.com. I'm honoured, because it's one of my favourite sites. This weekend we're going down to Austin for three or four days. (Yes, Steph, that means we'll be looking you up. You better show us a good time, crackwhore.) Dammit, I have an awful headache and you people aren't helping. I'm going to play with the new dvd thingy.
I suzie 10:32 AM CST [link] [7 comments] Sunday, May 26, 2002 Un-freakin-believable. A few nights ago someone submitted my Michael Jackson spoof to Zfilter.com. I was surprised to see that I had over 300 hits from it the next morning. Then yesterday morning someone submitted it to Fark.com. By early afternoon I'd had over 3,000 hits. As of this morning I've received almost 20,000 hits, just on the MJ index page. That's crazy. My entire website, including whatever mp3s I'm offering at the moment, consists of about 20-24 MB. Last night before I went to bed my bandwidth this month had exceeded 3 gigs. I'm going to have to move the MJ pictures to our home server. I'm happy that strangers get a kick out of seeing Michael Jackson's doll doing bizarre things, but I'm not willing to pay extra money for it. I only get 10 gigs transfer per month, kids. Oh yeah, and stop stealing my bandwidth. If you want to post one of my pictures on your website, upload the damn picture to your own server and link it. Please don't link directly to my pictures. I received a few comments from random strangers yesterday about my splash page. Let me clear a few things up: it's a joke, I don't think I know everything, I don't think I know "nothing", I don't think I'm vastly "different" than everyone else, and I don't gnaw on my coffee table. What is wrong with you people? Yes, I don't like anime. I don't CARE if you do. I just don't want to look at it. I find it annoying and I generally don't visit websites that are anime themed. It's my personal choice, ok? I'm sure you're a lovely and interesting person and if I've skipped looking at your site because it's got pictures of bug-eyed little girls all over it... my loss. The general consensus on the Fark forums is that posing a Michael Jackson figure is "wrong" and I have serious issues. I only have serious issues when I'm forced to use so many "quotation marks" in my frigging journal entries. It's the story of my life: Normal people think I'm weird; weird people think I'm normal. I've been tracking the MJ links on personal websites and I think my favourite comment about it so far is this one: "Ok ok this has to be the most Fuckin disturbin thing i ahve ever seen ever HOLE CRAP i'm scared for my FUCKIN LIFE (washes eyes out with bleach) Oh god its not Working (drinks bleach in hopes to remove short tearm memorie for good) (not seeming to work) (shoves knife into heart in hopes of killing self to remove horific images from mind) (misses heart and hits arm) FUCK YOU WHY CANT I DIE" Ha! That's fantastic. Yesterday Zack surprised me with the Blair Witch computer games. I spent most of yesterday afternoon playing Volume I: Rustin Parr. Just what I needed... something else to waste my time. Kidding. Thanks, angel. <3 We're going fishing this afternoon. I'm out of here. suzie 10:12 AM CST [link] [9 comments] Thursday, May 23, 2002 Holy crap, I hate warm weather. I just carried a gazillion grocery bags up the stairs and I'm sweating like... well... whatever sweats a lot. Yuck. I started my afternoon by going to Guitar Center to pick up something Zack had ordered. And dammit, I just realized that I forgot it downstairs in the stupid car. $%&#!! Anyway, Guitar Center hasn't changed since I was trying to learn the guitar 10 years ago. It's the same tattoo covered, pierced, dreadlocked kids who sit around with guitars they dream about owning and play bad cover songs. When I was younger it was Metallica and Megadeth. Now it's Korn and Limp Bisquick. There was a young teenage girl in there with her partial parent father. It was so obvious that he and his wife were divorced and he only saw his daughter every few weeks, so he was making it up to her by spending a shitload of money. She was squealing over guitars and loudly announcing that she had HER OWN tuner at home and making eyes at all the boys who were playing bad cover songs. She was kind of cute. Her father looked like a sleaze. Because of this lame warm weather I was wearing my well-worn "boys suck" tank top. One of the tattoo-and-piercing covered guys said "boys suck??" I told him "in theory, yes." I don't know what that was supposed to mean, but it was something to say. When I finally got up to the counter I told them I was there to pick up something for my husband. "you're MARRIED?? I thought you were a lesbian." yes, I am a lesbian. in theory. I almost forgot... as I was opening the door to go into GC this dreadlocked, burned out, rasta hat wearing transient looking guy pushed past me (he was leaving while I was entering) and screeched something like "ackTHEEEEESEmmmrrrbbbphhhACK!!!" at me. I gave him a wide berth. After I left GC I had to go up the road a block and make a right (GC in Dallas is on the highway) because I still had to go to my least favourite place in the world: the grocery store. I almost ran my incoherent-rasta-transient friend over. He was jaywalking, or rather, jayweaving, across the road. Crazy people are so much more interesting when they're on television. In my experience the best time to go grocery shopping is about 2 in the afternoon. Most of the elderly people have cleared out and the working drones haven't arrived yet. I did have to share the produce section with a blonde bimbo who was wearing her white pants so tight everyone and their blind uncle could see her red thong and cottage cheese thighs. Seriously lady, I didn't need to know what kind of underpants you wear. Her boyfriend was practically yelling on his cell phone in some language I didn't recognize (although I suspect rasta-transient might have understood it.) I finally made it to the checkout without running anyone over. Then the clerk started questioning me on the frozen pizzas I was buying. Okokok, so I barely know how to cook. Did you not see that I was also buying avacados, tomatillos, raw spinach, and tortillas?? I had frigging hi-calcium 1% milk in my cart! She went from my lack of cooking abilities to making me look at the two medals she was wearing around her neck. Her two daughters won them for playing the piano or something. I congratulated her and mentioned that my husband and I were going to wait to have children. Her response: "Dayam, yeah. I wish I NEVER had no kids." That threw me for a loop. I didn't know what to say. She started telling me her life story. I learned that she had her first kid at 19 and that I give off waaaay too many "I am a good listener" vibes. And now I must wash the dishes. Party on. suzie 04:19 PM CST [link] [9 comments] Wednesday, May 22, 2002
 obsess much? naaaaah. suzie 09:49 PM CST [link] [3 comments] Tuesday, May 21, 2002 Guess who's on the May 10th cover of Entertainment Weekly?
 Jimmy and Tina! Woo! ::winks at Tiff:: I love finding Jimmy magazines while waiting in line at Eckerd or the evil grocery store. Tonight is the season finales of Buffy (I still haven't watched the previous episode!! damn meeeee!), Gilmore Girls (will Rory pick Jess or Dean? will Lorelei and Luke make up??), and Smallville (will Clark get his mack on with Chloe??). Oh, the humanity. Zack told me yesterday that his company is taking everyone to Six Flags next month. Z and I used to get season passes, but we haven't been to the park since they built the Titan. Guess what I'm going to ride first? Man, I love rollercoasters. Today I saw a woman who was tanned so dark I think my husband's Mexican relatives would have been shocked. I felt like slapping on a coat of sunscreen just sitting near her. She seemed like she was my age or younger, but her face was wrinkling. I couldn't decide whether I should feel pity or contempt for her, so I just left instead. She made me that uncomfortable.
 sweeeeeeeeet. suzie 05:45 PM CST [link] [8 comments] Monday, May 20, 2002 I spent all day nursing a rotten headache and listening to Gravity. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept dreaming that our downstairs neighbor was turning up his music and then turning it back down again. Have you ever gotten audio hallucinations? Back in my self-medicating days I got them every so often. I thought they were fun. Now they're just creepy. Don't do drugs, kids. Or at least don't do a lot of drugs. Am currently drinking a White Russian. Goddess bless those Russians. Am now cursing Chevy Trailblazer advertising exec types for insinuating that their stupid vehicles are better than Peterbilts. Am bordering on drunken belligerence. Ok, we're watching Fear Factor. It's the season finale. Zack is trying to make me sound like a baby because I wouldn't want to eat a live (big) cockroach or a live beatle. Then I tease him about me drinking a warmish White Russian and he's gagging. He won't even look at it. He has a problem with milk products. Whatever. Whatever, I say!! "I'm a whore!! Yay!!" ~ some chic on MTV. suzie 08:11 PM CST [link] [7 comments] Sunday, May 19, 2002 Well, it's finally done. I took about 15 new pictures this afternoon and set up the first ever Michael Jackson naughty doll gallery. Feel free to spread the word. Thanks to Kristin for giving me the idea of creating the gallery. And I guess I should thank my brother for giving me the doll for Xmas 1984. Mwah! Last night we went to the Imax theatre to see Spider-Man, but it was sold out. We saw Murder By Numbers instead. If you haven't seen it yet do yourself a favour and wait until it comes out on video. It's worth seeing, but it's not worth $15. A really good Texas rawk band: Vallejo - Into the New.mp3 | 4.73mb (right click: save as)
mp3 expiration date: 05.26.02 suzie 08:07 PM CST [link] [3 comments] Saturday, May 18, 2002 For the last couple of weeks I've been getting a massive amount of weird messages on ICQ from strangers. I didn't answer any of them because I didn't know why they were contacting me. One of them finally mentioned Camarades. Last year I set up a webcam with them, but I didn't use it much. When our computer crashed I didn't bother to reinstall the software. It turns out that the Camarades people have been putting one of my webcam images on the main page and luring people to my old webcam page. The pervo guys want to know why my webcam is never on. Blech. I have another image at the Mirror project. It's not very flattering, but screw it. It's time you people knew the truth. Truck driving isn't glamourous. I know you're shocked. Just take some deep breaths and relax.
 It makes you hungry, doesn't it? suzie 12:16 PM CST [link] [10 comments] Friday, May 17, 2002 I'm a godawful thief, but I downloaded the new Our Lady Peace album Gravity today (a month before the release date). I'm in love. Literally head-over-heels in love. I'm such a girl sometimes. It's *tasty*. It's definitely more mainstream than any of their previous albums. The lyrics aren't nearly as ambiguous and the music is raw. I now understand why Mike left the band. But the whole album is soooo good, I can't stop listening to it. I love Raine Maida's voice.
 "I can be anything that you want me to be." You bet your sweet bippies I'm dragging Z to the show when they tour down here. I haven't seen them live since they came through supporting Naveed. Damn me. Z is putting together a new computer for us. Very fast, very lovely. He also finally put up part of his website. Check it out: www.psyklone.com The dog on his splash page is my parent's evil chihuahua, Cricket. They worship that dog even though it bites them every chance it gets. Old people are weird. suzie 05:51 PM CST [link] [11 comments] Wednesday, May 15, 2002 Truck driving locally is fun. The old people I work for are... well... they're old. Today one of them said "that's slicker than owl shit!" I've never been exposed to that phrase outside of a Stephen King novel. I told the guy so and he said "who tha hell's Stephen King?" My point exactly. While we were on our way to pick up more trucks we came upon an accident that had just happened on the other side of the highway. Being the wannabe stringer I am, I offer this:
 The woman looks pissed off. And rightly so. I'd be pissed too if someone snapped a picture of me sitting in my wrecked car as they zoomed past on the other side of the highway. The following mp3 is not appropriate for children or people with a stick up their butt: Connie Vannett - Pussy Cat Song.mp3 | 2.41mb (right click: save as) mp3 expiration date: 05.22.02 Jim, you have to download this song. suzie 05:22 PM CST [link] [8 comments] Tuesday, May 14, 2002 I'm not dead. I'm just distracted. When I took the dogs out this morning it was 54 degrees. Bliss. Pure bliss. I wish every morning could feel like that. Zack wants us to get Tivo. He's talking about taking it apart and add hard drives and stuff. Hey, he had me at "digital recording." Video tapes drive me nuts because I always forget to label them. Speaking of tv, the last episode of Roswell is on tonight. Finally. Can I get a woohoo? I have the last three episodes of Buffy on tape and I haven't watched them yet. Damn me. I've been watching Gilmore Girls and Smallville instead. Angel was getting pretty bad, but at least now it has one saving grace. I'm still trying to figure out the Nikon. I've got a ton of pictures to put up. Priorities - the Michael Jackson doll gallery is at the top of the list. If only I weren't feeling so incoherent. Blah. suzie 11:32 AM CST [link] [10 comments] Saturday, May 11, 2002 In answer to the search engine hits last night for fluttergirl.com: According to People Magazine Jimmy Fallon is six feet in height. However, most people who have met him say he's about 5'10". There are no pictures of Steve Nash on this site. Mariah Carey farted? Why would someone search for information about it? What is wrong with you people? All mp3s I offer will now come with an expiration date. On that date I will delete the mp3. The techno remix of the Pink Panther theme is long gone. So is the Control Machete song. Sorry. I've never had the Fear Factor theme song in mp3 format. I don't have any child porn. Man, I'd like to cut off the fingers of all you perverts, along with some other appendages. If Ashton Kutcher is planning on visiting Pakistan he hasn't called to tell me. I do not have the following fetishes: sweater, dental, pee, dog. I hope this clears up some misconceptions, but more than likely it's just going to bring a lot more weirdos to my site. suzie 03:21 PM CST [link] [6 comments] Friday, May 10, 2002 My mom laments the fact that she never saw the Beatles. Paul McCartney is finishing his tour tonight in Dallas, but did she get tickets? Noooooo. I don't care. I saw him 9 years ago in San Antonio at the Astrodome. Floor seats and all that. Nyah, mom! Nyah! <3 Holy crap, the hats are $40. Crazy old bastards. suzie 09:16 PM CST [link] [3 comments]
"everytime I go to town House of Pain - Put On Your Shit Kickers.mp3 | 2.9mb (right click: save as) mp3 expiration date: 05.17.02 suzie 04:29 PM CST [link] [2 comments] Thursday, May 9, 2002 Guess who's one of People magazine's "50 most beautiful people" for 2002? Thasssssss right:
 But who made the cover? Nicole Kidman -- the redhead, of course. In your face, Tom Cruise. You and your new hootchie mama didn't make the cut. I was pleasantly surprised to see Jeff Corwin included. I would have skipped Britney and included Angelina. How about Ashton Kutcher? Tom Welling? Kristin Kreuk? Buf... uh, Sarah Michelle Gellar? Ok, this tv thing is bad. I'm going to put together my own 50 most beautiful for 2002, dammit. I would vent more, but I have to go to the grocery store and get cilantro and tomatillos. Ciao, dahlings. suzie 02:54 PM CST [link] [11 comments] Wednesday, May 8, 2002 Our new Coolpix 995 has more buttons and doohickeys than my Peterbilt. It's the most awesome camera I've ever owned. I'm thinking of putting it on a little pedestal and burning candles around it. We have a bar stool that we keep near the computer desk and use as a makeshift table. Z has relocated it to our geek corner and it's now holding our NetScreen 100 box. I guess if I started piling Coke cans on top of it he'd give the stool back. Hey, it's worth a shot. I get some strange hits from search engines. Mostly it's from people looking for child porn, "tanya and suzie," and Steve Nash. But this one takes the cake: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=We+are+the+bizarre+kings+winona+ryder+better+sleep+with+me+soon We are the bizarre kings winona ryder better sleep with me soon?!? I'm #1 for that search. I'm only #12 on Yahoo for "mormon crossdresser." Damn the luck.
 Wendy -- my ancient laptop. suzie 11:16 AM CST [link] [11 comments] Tuesday, May 7, 2002 Possibly the coolest website EVER: Stalking is good, clean fun. suzie 05:55 PM CST [link] [6 comments] Yuck. Check out this article. "William Coday's online personals ad reads: "I'm a compassionate, 6' 2", 200 lbs., athletic guy who enjoys Mediterranean food, the poetry of Keats and Kavafy, and baroque music." What Coday fails to mention is that he's also a two-time killer who used hammers to fatally bludgeon two ex-girlfriends." article link found here It's creepy. How desperate would a woman have to be to start romancing inmates? Especially death row inmates?!? Seriously. I checked out one of the inmate personal sites listed in the article. I was curious to see how much information these guys were giving about themselves. Let's see:
Prison Angels Texas death row personals page After reading some of the personals I went to the Texas Death Row Offender information page. I compared the profile information to what the guys were convicted of. Scary stuff.
Rex Mays
His offender information: Now who wouldn't be interested in a nice guy like that?
I'm hanging around the house because our new digital camera is supposed to be delivered today. I want it NOW. Nikon Coolpix 995... isn't that the same camera Chloe uses on Smallville? Yes, I'm still watching too much television. I'm a little peeved because now three of my favourite shows are on different channels at the same time on Tuesday nights. Buffy, Gilmore Girls, and That 80's Show. Damn the people who did that. Damn them.
suzie 02:43 PM CST [link] [8 comments] Monday, May 6, 2002 "Kentucky nazi gimps are not neato." ~ That Damn Jim Guy My weekend was fun. While we were visiting my mom&sis-in-law there were some storms in the area. The television weather lady interrupted my SNL rerun to tell me that there was tornadic activity between the cities of Skeeterville and Hicks Crossing. I'm so not kidding. Gotta love Texas. Flashback to my trip: While I was in Virginia I visited a grungy little indoor flea market. I wasn't expecting to find anything, but (hark!) in the first booth I entered I found a piece of Alice in Chains memorabilia. I *never* find AiC promo stuff. Ever. So there I was, in the place where John Denver 8-tracks go to die, less than 48 hours after Layne Staley's body was found, holding in my hot (not-so-little-as-previously-discussed) hands... the Alice in Chains Jar of Flies. I'd never even seen the thing before. It's a mason jar filled with plastic flies. It's got flies glued to the sides and the lid and lying upside down at the bottom. On the front it says "Alice in Chains jar of flies." I thought for certain that it would be at least $40, but then again it WAS sitting next to a Dale Earnhardt Coke can. I checked the price. $13. $13!!! I *ran* to the register with it. Woo! Out of curiosity I checked to see what this thing was going for on ebay: $102.50. Score! Not that I'm planning on selling it or anything. I like to hoard things. Damn right.
 suzie 09:06 PM CST [link] [4 comments] Friday, May 3, 2002 Sweet merciful crap! Can you believe this shot was rejected from the Mirror Project?!?
 I took this picture of myself while speeding down the highway! I took it at great personal risk (not to mention the risk of many innocent bystanders)!! I took it for the sake of art!!! I took it because I've never seen a tanker truck that shiny!!!! And they still rejected it. Dammit. You can kind of see me in the window of my pretty yellow truck. Now if I had been standing in front of my stupid bathroom mirror and snapped a picture of JUST ME it would have made it onto the website. Blah. I should start a website for people who were rejected from the Mirror Project. For people who get so creative with their picture taking that they're barely visible in the images! For people who don't deal well with rejection!! Ha. I'm ok. Really. ps - Steph, I miss you... crackwhore. <3 suzie 08:36 PM CST [link] [10 comments] A new song to download: Skatenigs - Chemical Imbalance.mp3 | 5.83mb (right click: save as) mp3 expiration date: 05.10.02 We're going to Austin this weekend. I'm not going to drive a single mile. You damn skippy. We have new downstairs neighbors. They play their rap music very loudly. I've been back for less than a week and I've already had to call Crime Strike three times to get them to turn it down when we're going to bed. I don't think they like us too much, but fuck 'em. Yesterday it was cool enough for me to shut off the air conditioner and leave the balcony doors open. Zack and I were treated to one of the girls shrieking 7 times to her friend "can ya bring home some hair grease? hair grease! I SAID BRING HOME SOME HAIR GREASE!!! HAIR GREEEEEEASE!!!" Man, I hope they move soon.
 be all you can be. xo suzie 02:54 PM CST [link] [9 comments] Thursday, May 2, 2002 Random shtuff: I read the first Harry Potter book while I was gone. It was pretty damn good. I don't know why Xtians are getting their panties in a wad over it, though. Maybe too many of them recognize themselves in the Dursleys. Photoshop 7 is NEAT. Ultra-cool neat. I'm talking rawkstar neat, ok? Run (!) don't walk, to your nearest store (favourite warez site) and buy (download) it today! My mom stopped at girl at NM Tech and asked her what the "Abercrombie & Fitch" on her t-shirt stood for. She thought it had something to do with the stock market. Mom isn't very hip, bless her heart. The traffic in DC/Maryland/Northern Virginia is AWFUL. I'm *so* glad that Z and I didn't move up there. I spent almost five hours stuck in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon trying to get from Aberdeen, MD, to Fredricksburg, VA. NEVER AGAIN. I had to stand on my clutch the entire way. Second gear to third and back to second. My left thigh was aching for days afterward. And the stupid rubberneckers in mini-vans kept slowing me down because they'd roll along right beside me so they could gawk at the Meerkat. Soooo many times I wanted to just push them out of my way so I could change lanes. I repeat... NEVER AGAIN. I think the two most popular franchises are Subway and Days Inn. I say this because I used both extensively while I was gone. You know how when you buy a new car you suddenly notice the same car everywhere? I'm now supersensitive to Subway and Days Inn signs. I think I'm going to have to be deprogrammed or something. Fudge. While driving from NM to AZ I was in some of the worst winds / dust storm I've ever seen. I'm not kidding. One minute the sky would be completely blue and the mountains were clear. The next minute the sky and mountains were GONE. When it finally started to calm down a bit I kept seeing dust devils (aka sand cyclones) on the side of the road. It was kind of scary. Zack and I have given up on the Kodak DX3700 digital camera. Yesterday we ordered a Nikon Coolpix 995. Woo! Can't wait to check it out. It arrives on Tuesday. Here's a happy picture of Michael Jackson and Zack's toothbrush:
 Ride 'em, cowboy. More tomorrow, luvs. <3 suzie 09:06 PM CST [link] [8 comments] |
my mom.